maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
