i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
