He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
PANTIES FOUND
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
