I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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