I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You ate ashes out of my bong
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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