and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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