She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
pray to the hookup gods
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
