OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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