You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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