come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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