Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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