Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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