3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
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