I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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