Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
