What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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