We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
someone owes me an orgasm
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm just crazy horny about you
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize