I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize
