Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
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