his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
