is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
