dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize