you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
