Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
