are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize