I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
