what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
ugly people sure do ruin things
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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