Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
