But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
