I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
