How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
