i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
