I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
