At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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