nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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