Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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