Swine flu is the new snow day.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
