I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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