I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
