I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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