Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
My vagina just recognized that song.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
