the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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