So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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