They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
