sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
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