My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
