looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
