My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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