it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
