the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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