Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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