dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
