can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
