oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
worst night to have a conscience
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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