i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
