I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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