you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
