I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
