brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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