I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
